To All Department Store Credit Card Divisions
From: Every single person on the planet.
Please stop putting inserts for (insert latest trendy/expensive perfume) in your monthly statements. When combined, the aroma is similar to a French Cat Box. I would normally shred your envelopes, but that means my shredder would bear that stench. And since you are required to mail me a statement every month, the only way I can avoid that stench is to tell my wife to NOT frequent your department store.
Of course she could pay cash, but the sales you have been running lately are for "Store Credit Card" purchases only. Maybe I'll just make the wifey open the statement each month from now on....